


All You Have to Do Is Stay

by ByTheAngell (SomeLittleInfamy)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Insecure Jace Wayland, M/M, Supportive Simon Lewis, Vampire Simon Lewis, Wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22787158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeLittleInfamy/pseuds/ByTheAngell
Summary: As Simon prepares to go out for Halloween, fangs and all, Jace considers a 'mark' of his own he's been hiding and wonders if it's time to show Simon...
Relationships: Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland
Comments: 16
Kudos: 190
Collections: SHBingo





	All You Have to Do Is Stay

**Author's Note:**

> For my SH Bingo square: Wing Fic

Jace doesn’t know if getting the night off on Halloween is a blessing or a curse. With demonic activity at a surprising low for this time of year, Isabelle decides to not run a full staff, which means Jace is free for the holiday for the first time in… well, maybe ever. Rebecca is flying in to visit Simon for Halloween, their yearly tradition; it’s also the first time she’s been back to New York since he and Simon started dating a few months ago. Against all of his better judgment, Jace agrees to go out with them for the night.

“You look ridiculous,” Jace says, eyeing Simon up and down. Simon looks like he was plucked directly out of a children’s cartoon, with his hair slicked back, wearing an all-black suit Raphael loaned him under a black cape with a bright red inner lining. “You’re literally a vampire, Simon. You _do_ know no one dresses like that, right? I mean, I know I don’t spend a lot of time at the Dumort these days, but…”

“Of course I do,” Simon cuts him off. “But it has to be cheesy for no one to question it. If it’s exaggerated then it’s obviously a _costume_ and no one thinks twice.”

Simon smiles, and that’s when Jace sees his fangs are out. His actual fangs, and not some piece of store-bought costume. And _damn_ if that isn’t doing something to him just then. Even around the other Shadowhunters Simon usually keeps his fangs hidden. It’s strange to see him walking around with them so… casually.

Jace catches himself staring and tears his eyes away from the pointed canines.

“And you’re just going to walk around like that? In public?” Jace asks, ignoring the slight hitch in his breath.

Simon shrugs. “Sure. It’s Halloween. All of the mundanes just assume everything is a costume. The warlocks all go out without glamouring their marks, everyone will just think Seelies are some elaborate elf costume… the werewolves are kinda screwed, even the most detailed furry costume doesn’t look like an actual wolf. But yeah. It’s actually kind of cool.”

Jace almost asks what a ‘furry’ is and decides that he’s fine not knowing just then, especially not when a much larger and more consuming thought has now taken over his entire brain: _letting his ‘mark’ show_.

Two spots on his back itch in anticipation at the mere thought, muscles begging him to be released. No one knows about his ‘gift’ outside of the Lightwoods, and that’s only because while he was still growing _they_ were still growing, and he couldn’t keep them glamoured and hidden for too long without ending up in horrible amounts of pain.

“Jace? Earth to Jace?” Simon’s voice breaks through his thoughts. “You alright? You zoned out, like, a _lot_ just then.”

Jace doesn’t have an immediate reply. He wants to tell Simon, he really does. He wants to let Simon in, to let Simon know _all_ of him. And it isn’t that he doesn’t trust Simon to keep his secret...

...it’s that he doesn’t think he’ll stay after he knows.

A lot of thoughts cross through Jace’s mind just then. He runs through a million and one scenarios in the blink of an eye, and 99% of them end with Simon very politely ending things because he didn’t sign up for this. It’s weird, even by Shadow World standards. Even by _Simon_ standards. Alec and Izzy were always kind about it, but Maryse and Robert always stressed how important it is that no one ever finds out, that they’re something to be ashamed of, something to hide.

He also thinks of meeting Rebecca in an hour or two. Meeting Simon’s family, allowing them to get invested in him too, the same way Simon has. Maybe it’s best to get this done and over with now, like ripping off a bandaid.

“Okay, now you’re starting to worry me,” Simon says, frowning and taking a step closer, reaching an arm out towards Jace. Jace takes an instinctive step backward, defensive before he even started speaking, and that’s when he knows that he’s already made up his mind without realizing it.

“Simon, there’s something I have to tell you. Or, well, show you I guess,” Jace speaks finally. He watches Simon’s face closely, the small, cautious smile as Simon nods.

“Yeah, sure. What is it?” Simon is definitely worried, and Jace hates that he’s the reason for that concern.

“So, you know how Clary and I were, uh, experimented on as kids?” It’s rhetorical, they both know that Simon knows, but Jace waits anyway to buy himself a few more seconds to collect his thoughts. This isn’t how he imagined doing this, and he thought about it a _lot_ the longer the two of them were together, but he usually pictured some quiet, intimate moment, and not while Simon was dressed up as Dracula.

“Yes,” Simon says, his tone soft and encouraging.

“Right. Well, I didn’t just get the ability to activate my runes without a stele,” he admits. “The angel blood in me, it… I also got, uh…” he stalls again, the words fading away. It isn’t too late to make up a lie, or say ‘nevermind’ and save this for another day. Maybe he can buy himself a few more weeks, hell, maybe a few more months, with Simon before he brings it up and sends him running.

“Hey,” Simon says, filling the silence Jace falls into. “Whatever it is, you know you can tell me. It’s alright.”

Jace wants to believe him, but he can’t undo two decades of being told it _isn’t_ alright. So instead he takes a deep breath and steels himself for the inevitable.

“I have wings.”

He’s never said it out loud to anyone before. He couldn’t even say it to Maryse and Robert, it just sort of happened, and they were the ones to tell Alec and Isabelle. Jace always just referred to them as, well, _them_. _I have to let them out again_ , he’d say, and Alec would know he needed help with the matted areas that inevitably formed from hiding them for too long.

A heavy silence falls between them when Simon doesn’t respond right away. Jace is bracing himself for a gentle let down. Maybe that Simon is going to go out with Becky alone, and come back and let him down easy so it doesn’t ruin his night. Or maybe Simon will be so mad that Jace kept this from him that he’ll just yell at him and kick him out here and now.

Simon doesn’t look upset, but he doesn’t look particularly happy, either. He’s studying Jace carefully, eyes narrowed a little.

“You have wings,” Simon repeats finally.

“Yeah,” Jace breathes out the word, on pins and needles in anticipation.

“Okay.”

“...okay?” Jace has no idea what the fuck to do with that.

Simon frowns. “I mean I’ve never… how do you have wings and I’ve never seen them, or felt them? I’ve definitely seen you naked before. _Plenty_ of times, and-” Simon stops abruptly. “The scars. The two on your back. Are they-”

“Yeah,” Jace confirms, self-consciously shifting so that his back is facing away from Simon, the scars under his shirt included.

“I never thought to ask about them, I just assumed it was, you know, normal Shadowhunter injury stuff. Werewolf scratch or something.” Simon pauses, and Jace can feel his eyes on him even as Jace very intentionally avoids eye contact.

“I wish,” Jace mutters. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

Simon is being way too calm about all of this, and he doesn’t like it. When Jace doesn’t say anything else and neither does Simon the silence between them is almost too much. Jace can feel Simon’s eyes on him and can only think the worst: that Simon’s trying to find some polite way to say that it’s too weird, or too much, or that he lied about it for too long to be trusted. In fact, Jace is about to give him the easy out and beat him to it when Simon speaks again.

“Can I see them?” Simon asks quietly.

“What?” This isn’t what Jace expects to hear. In fact, he’s certain he must be hearing things.

“I mean if it’s too… personal, or whatever, that’s fine. I don’t want to overstep. But I’d love to see them, if you’ll let me,” Simon repeats.

Jace looks around Simon’s apartment as if half-expecting a small crowd to suddenly appear to watch as well. But it’s just them, and the curtains are drawn, and Rebecca hasn’t texted to say she’s anywhere close yet.

“I don’t know,” Jace stalls.

“Hey, that’s fine. I mean, I can’t imagine having _wings_ and not wanting to show them off all the time, but if you ever do the offer is there.” Simon steps closer, taking Jace’s hand in his own and giving it a comforting squeeze.

And that’s when it hits Jace: Simon isn’t shying away. He isn’t running. In fact, he’s explicitly saying he’ll still be here whenever Jace changes his mind.

That’s the push he needs to take a deep breath and make that leap.

“Wait,” Jace says as Simon turns to head back towards his bedroom. Simon stops and turns, and as he does so Jace slowly takes off his shirt. Then he very slowly and carefully begins to spread his wings.

It’s been a while. He can feel the aches, moving in small, shifting increments instead of some quick, grand, dramatic gesture. The feathers are mostly golden - a soft, shining hue closest to his skin and along the tops of each wing, fading to a pure white at the tips. They match his eyes, which also shine with a shade of gold that almost glows under the light. Jace wonders how long it’s been since he brushed them out - a quick glance at them doesn’t seem to show any glaring issues and he’s silently praying they aren’t matted in places he can’t see as Simon watches with wide eyes.

There’s no fanfare, Jace doesn’t do a spin to show them off and has no snarky comment. He simply stands, his biggest secret on full display, feeling more exposed than he ever has before.

Simon continues to stare as Jace bites down on his lower lip. He knew this was a bad idea.

“Wow,” Simon finally breathes out. “That’s… they’re... wow.”

“They’re something alright,” Jace agrees, and allows himself a shaky, self-conscious laugh.

“They’re _beautiful.”_

Simon takes a step or two closer and Jace can feel his brain working overtime to process what Simon just said. Simon isn’t leaving. He isn’t even shocked into place. He’s coming _closer_. He’s smiling.

 _He likes them_.

“They’re ridiculous,” Jace mumbles finally, still not making eye contact with Simon.

“They’re spectacular,” Simon corrects. “Can I-?” Simon starts to extend a hand slowly out towards Jace’s left wing and he’s helpless to do anything other than nod.

Simon moves carefully, each motion deliberate until his hand grazes the golden plumage. His touch is soft, first just brushing across the tops of them before growing a bit bolder and combing his fingers through the feathers. Jace gasps, feathers shaking from the involuntary shudder Simon’s touch causes, and Simon pulls his hand back quickly.

“ _Fuck,_ sorry, I hurt you?” Simon asks, concerned.

“No,” Jace says quickly, shaking his head. “No, it’s just - I haven’t had them out in a while. It feels good, I promise.” And it feels extra good because it’s Simon touching them. Sure, when Alec or Izzy would comb through his feathers it felt nice, like someone running fingers through your hair, but this was different. This was something _more_.

Simon looks hesitant but nods and moves close again, crowding into Jace’s space to run his fingers through the feathers again before making his way around to Jace’s back. Jace feels the gentle touch of fingertips at the spots on his back where the wings emerge from. He knows exactly what Simon’s looking at from numerous hours spent staring in contempt at them in the bathroom mirror - red, inflamed skin, freshly torn open in a clean line, something that looks like it should be bleeding but isn’t. Simon’s fingers vanish, and a second later his lips take their place, leaving a trail of quick, tender kisses up the length of the laceration.

Jace doesn’t try to stop the tears that spring to his eyes, he knows he couldn’t even if he wanted to.

Simon circles back around to face him again. “Thank you for showing me.”

Jace nods, not trusting himself to speak.

Thankfully he doesn’t have to. Simon’s phone rings and he takes it out of his pocket to silence it but stops when he sees his sister’s name on the screen. Even still, he looks up at Jace questioningly.

“Answer your sister,” Jace encourages while clearing his throat, taking the minute or two Simon spends on the phone to collect himself again. When Simon hangs up his eyes are back on Jace immediately.

“So, this is terrible timing since she’s going to be here in, like, 5 minutes. But I want to talk more about this later if you’re up for it,” Simon tells him.

“I- yeah, I’d like that,” Jace admits. He’s wanted to talk to Simon about this for _ages_ , honestly.

“I mean, I could make her wait for me at Taki’s or something if you wanted to talk now-”

“Simon, it’s fine. We can talk tomorrow. Tonight is all about Rebecca.” Normally this isn’t the sort of thing Jace would ever imagine himself leaving unresolved, but Simon doesn’t look like he’s about to turn and run overnight. In fact, Jace is convinced that if this hasn’t scared him away there might not be anything that will, and that’s a thought that both excites and terrifies him. He’s always relied on his ability to push people away when he needed to, there’s always been some stop he could pull to make people leave when he felt overwhelmed, or when things got too serious.

But with Simon? Jace is finally starting to realize that Simon might just be here to stay. Maybe nothing can scare him away, but Jace realizes with a sudden certainty that he doesn’t _want_ to push Simon away.

“I don’t suppose you want to take them out for a Halloween test-run?” Simon offers, but Jace is already folding the wings back into place, tight and hidden and secret again.

“Maybe next year,” Jace compromises. Showing Simon is one thing - showing the entire world, well, that’s a step he isn’t ready for just yet, even if they’d all think it’s just some elaborate costume.

“Good,” Simon says, surprising Jace. “Because I kind of like the idea of me being the only one who gets to see them.” Simon closes the space between them, careful to place his hands by the base of Jace’s spine on his back as he wraps his arms around him and pulls him in for a kiss.

“Still up for coming out?” Simon asks when they finally pull away.

Jace knows he can say no and Simon would be totally fine with it. He can distance himself and overthink and self-sabotage everything that just happened in true Jonathan Herondale fashion…. but he doesn’t even consider it.

Because for the first time he can remember Jace doesn’t feel like he needs an escape plan.

“Absolutely,” Jace agrees without any hesitation. “Let’s go.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am not /officially/ marking this with 1/2, but I really love this idea and the chances of me returning to it are suuuuuper high if I have the time. 
> 
> (Find me on [Tumblr](http://bytheangell.tumblr.com) and also on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/By_The_Angell)! <3 )


End file.
